Michael and Dwight: SexyBack

My Celebrity Look-a-Likes

This was pretty fun - but I have no idea who the first person is that I look alike...

Here's a picture from a couple years ago... I have actually been told that I look like Mariah Carey...

My Halloween Picture...

Here's my High School Senior Picture...

Another High School Senior Picture....

Kitty Liter Cake

This has got to be the funniest food item I have seen in a long time. It looks so disgusting but is completely edible!! Check it out...

CAKE INGREDIENTS:

1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 box of white cake mix
1 package white sandwich cookies
1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
A few drops green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent

SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS"

1 NEW cat-litter box
1 NEW cat-litter box liner
1 NEW pooper scooper

1) Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan. Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs. Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside.

2) When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.

3) Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shapethe blunt ends into slightly curved point s. Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.

4) Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper. Enjoy!




LOL This is so going to be at the next White Trash Trailer Bash!!! YUMMO!!!

Easy Rider Motorcycle Rodeo August 2006

I would like to warn you that this post has nudity - if you find this offensive, please do not read any further.

Yes, I found myself this year at a MotorCycle Rodeo. Me... yes me. Talk about being completely out of your element - but my friend Dave talked me into attending one night of corn field debauchery - which turned out to be a Thursday - Sunday event that I was 'kiddnapped' into attending lol (J/K - it didn't take a lot of arm twisting to get me to stay.)
It was basically get as drunk as you possibly can, with out falling down and show your 'private parts'.













This is Kevin. Some people are very organized in their pursuit of seeing Boobs. And we did attract many 'boobs' with these jello shots (btw they were made by Dave's GRANDMA for this event!! LOL)

But the old reliable 'BEADS' still seems to attract the most nudity.

And then there were the 'Others' that just gave it up for free...


..... Um, What?!! Ok, I was distracted... Shew.... lol ANYWAY... There were a lot of strange vechicles that people divised just for this occasion -

There are lots of picnic tables that are put on trailers. Some of these have Stripper Poles mounted to them as seen in the second picture above.

Some would reinforce the roof of there golf cart so people could ride up top. But my favorite vehicle that I saw over the course of 4 days was...

The Cooler Scooter!! It's a functional cooler that has a motor and you ride it!! I love this thing!!!

It was a wild four days. I will say my girls stayed put away - I could just see my family browsing the web and 'TA DA' there's my boobs posted on someones site. Um.. No... I'm not going to take that chance. Call me a prude. :)

This is Kevin & Dave

NEVER Pass Out at My House....

If you should pass out prior to my roommate or I - you become fair game to our drunken antics.

You may just have pictures of you taken while you are down...

We may take pictures of you with props that we devise...

You may receive a permanent marker 'penis' tattoo....

And at the very worst, the mother of all pass out pranks, you will have pictures taken of you with my roommate's butt in your face...

So my dear friends, always remember this one thing when drinking with us. It is a marathon, NOT a sprint. We go for distance so you need to pace yourself. Or, you may wind up with your picture on the internet with a hairy ass inches from your face.

Fruit of the Loom - Seriously!

Ok now, Seriously - Fruit of the Loom. = Fruit... Meaning Fruit Right? FRUIT. So I get the Apple and the Grapes. But what the Hell is the green leafy thing? And sometimes there is the yellow leafy thing? What are they suppose to be? It's not Vegetable of the Loom... so they can't be lettuce or cabbage or something along that lines. Its Fruit. My educated guess at one point was that they are Raisins. But with closer inspection, it is definitely a bunch of leaves on them. Leaves... not shriveled Grapes. So it brings me back to WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY SUPPOSE TO BE? Does anyone out there know what Fruit the leafy things are? I can't think of any fruit that is leafy. Seriously - this is driving me NUTS!! Please Help!!

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

Awesome choreography!!

Heaven

I think I just died and went to Heaven...

Support Group

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that.
It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey

More Kitties!!

Thanks to a fellow Blogger, Thomma Lyn, it has been brought to my attention that there are more silly cat websites. Unbelievable!! LOLCheck out Cats In Sinks (Self Explanatory) and Kitten War. Which to me is reminiscent of the website Hot or Not.
Kitten War is were pictures of kittens are posted two at a time and you pick the picture that you think is the cutest. Once you click the one you like, on the left side of the screen is the stats on that picture and two more new pictures are posted for you to 'click' the cutest.
It is mindless websites like this that I can get sucked into for hours of endless clicking.

Poor Kitties!

Ok, Seriously - people need to get a hobby. Here are two sites that are flippin hilarious. First - Stuff On My Cat - People pile crap up on their cat, take a picture and then post it to this site. Who was the brain child to come up with this site?
Second - Cats That Look Like Hitler - I think this is self explainatory. At this site they lovingly call these cats "Kitlers". Again, who thought that this should be a website?
Anyway, sarcasm aside - they are kinda cute and funny. A nice time waster. Enjoy!!

The Mother Of All Tanning Beds

A Tanning salon opened up across the street (The Bulb Tanning Salon) and since I'm so busy and don't have the time to layout, I decided to check the new place out so I could get my golden glow without taking a lot of time.
So I go in and they are giving me the tour. Ya know, blah blah blah, here's a bed, here's a stand up, blah blah blah... And then we come to this room, and I swear they opened the door and it was like in the movies when a bright light shines behind something and that music of 'Awe' sounds and you zoom in on the item. So they are like, this is the "Velocity 918HP". I had never seen a bed like it - it looked like a space ship - like if I laid in it would crash out the side of the wall and fly me to the mother ship.

So of course, wide eyed and drooling, I had to take a ride in it!! So I was trying to remain composed and asked very cool like, "How much for a tan in that bed?"
The response "Oh, it's only $35 per session."
What, What, WHAT!?! $35 to lay in the spaceship for 15 minutes. Mother of God!! Are you kidding me? So of course I was like, alright, I gotta find out what a $35 tanning bed is like. So I chunked down my cash, was given the 'low down' on how to use it, lathered myself up and crawled into the Spaceship Tanning Bed. And let me tell you - it was FANTASTIC!!! It was so comfortable and it has these huge fans blowing on you so you don't get hot at all and it's all bronzing bulbs and you come out looking like a Bronzed Goddess. This bed has special bulbs that do not burn. I don't know how that is, but it's true!! I had a very light tan, if I would have laid in a bed for the same amount of time I would have come out pink/burned and would have to wait a couple days to have the tan set in and be maybe only be a shade darker then before. I came out of this bed about 5 shades darker, no burn, in one visit. Amazing!!! I'm hooked!!! This bed ROCKS!!

Gibberish

Ok - Have any of you ever got those emails that are complete gibberish? I know they are used for the purpose to establish a good email address for spamming, but come on!! Some of these are so flippin funny!! This is one I received today...


"momentary laceration of a wounded spirit, made sensitive by a eating and drinking pea soup, as I may say, nothing but love and marriage, running hap-hazardly about, you can food anything if you eat it, meandering, debutante flying around the room helpless,
company I am in. Call to mind that I am a very helpless and releasing her from her engagement if she thought fit; about how I go"

For cryin out loud!! What in the hell does all that mean? LOL

Life

"Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, strawberries in one hand - champagne in the other, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!"

Student Driver

I just had to share this – poor kid!!
I was on my way to work this morning and in Michigan we have these crazy medians that you have to make, basically, a u-turn in order to make a left turn. We call it a Michigan Left . You have to go past the road you wan to turn down and then hang a left “U’ey” and then make a right turn onto the road. Confusing, I know.
So anyway – I was at a stop light waiting to go and this student driver car has the right of way after making a Michigan Left . Well the poor kid then proceeds to drive up over the curb, onto the grass in the median and drives a good 20 yards on the grass in the median. You could see threw the back window the Driving teacher grab the wheel and jerk the student off the grass back onto the road. LOL I wonder if this kid is going to pass this test!?!

White Trash

I just had to blog this - I can't STAND my white trash neighbors, they are so annoying!! I live in a townhouse and they are in the one adjacent to mine. So in the back yard our decks are only about 5 feet from each other. They are always on their deck - they will sit outside and bring a TV out there and watch NASCAR - ugh I could go on but let me tell you what I've bounced on here to do. Last night is was a very nice summer night and I wanted to sit outside and read a book on the deck. I hardly ever go out there because they are ALWAYS out there invading my privacy. Anyway, last night I decided that despite them I was going to spend some time on my deck. So I'm out there reading and they have a couple trash friends over and they are all sitting on the deck drinking Busch Lite watching NASCAR a whoopin and a hollerin. (I'm not making this up!) And the one White Trash friend starts talking about fireworks. I was just thinking please god let the stupidity end - so I was tuning them out as much as possible. Then I hear the White Trash friend tell the others a list of all the different fireworks that have blown up in his hand. (Honest) Like he was proud of the fact that he was too stupid to let them go once they were lit. And he was like "Well remember when my hand was like this?" (holding up his hand in a claw fashion) "That was because one of them there(don't remember the name of the firework he named but it was inserted here)blew up in my hand!" "I couldn't write for a week!" (Like the moron would write anything anyway.) I literally was shaking my head in disbelief at what I had just heard. And these people are allowed to breed - how sad is that? I swear - we should all be given an IQ test and if we are below a certain level our 'stuff' should be tied. Seriously - is a child safe with a twit like this that blows firecrackers up in his hand? I really don't think so.

Let's Get It Started!!

Well, I have been inspired by a friend (LuckyMeLiscious) to create my own blog of worthless information and snip-bits from my life. Really don't know when or how I'm going to be able to keep this up because I'm extremely busy both in work and life but I will give it my best effort. And Away We Go!....